


Cool Life

by orphan_account



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, Mention of injury/blood but it is non graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 23:19:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10546040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Taako is mortally wounded, so he calls the person he cares most about.





	

As he lies choking on his own spit in the middle of the battlefield, Taako "the fuckin best elf ever" Taaco plucks his phone of farspeach off the ground. It's dusty, and a little sticky, but it's still operational. Dialling a familiar number, he lays back and waits for the answer. There is a sudden burst of noise and a cheerful (and annoying) voice answers with a:

"Uh, hello Sir!"

Taako swallows down a mouthful of blood and says:

"Ango McMango, you better be doing your homework while I'm out here." He chokes, too raspy to sound normal.

Angus's voice breaks through the stone, voice shaking in uncertainty. 

"S-sir? Are you alright?"

Taako looks at his torso, his bleeding becoming slower and sluggish as it pools in his tunic. He is suddenly very glad Angus's can't see him.

"Yeah I'm just fine Bubala. How's it going?"

"No offence Taako-sir, but you sound absolutely awful."

Taako furrow's his eyebrows in irritation. Even when he's trying to do some really cool dying fuck-shit, the twerp still has enough clarity to see right through him.

Well, with the hole in his abdomen, even Merle's shit perception could see through him now. 

"Hey Angus?"

"Yessir?" Angus chirps. Gods, he was gonna miss that. 

"I'm really proud of you kid."

There is a moment of sweet silence, but it is snapped as Angus sharply says:

"Okay sir are you, like, mortally wounded? I really appreciate the-uh- sentiment but your only nice when there is danger or during holidays. And even on the holidays your still kinda- uh - a meanie? I mean- a really cool meanie, but still it'd be cool if-"

"Gotta go pumpkin, bad reception." He chuckles, cutting off the boy Detective with a really shitty static noise.

Angus is quiet for a moment, and Taako can barely bring himself to end the call. Before he slips the stone to the ground, he hears a whispered:

"I love you, sir." 

Taako starts to blink away tears. He is Taako Mother-Fucking Taaco, wizard extraordinaire, and he does not fucking cry. No siree. Not even when his so- little boy is giving him a dying goddamned send off into the astral realm or whatever. Fuck that. 

Taako lies there, on the desolate battlefield for what seems like eons, until the sound of footsteps grows near. He prays to Istus, to Ohgma, to Pan, to anyone that he gets some fucking cool final words but all he gets out is:

"That fuckin' kid."

A voice, smooth and comforting, says:

"That fuckin' kid is helping save your life."

Taako's eyes burst open to see Kravitz, with his dumb (handsome) suit and Angus with his stupid (adorable) wand lanyard, with half the bureau in tow.

Taako groans and rests his head on the ground with a thud. 

"I can't even get a cool death you chuckle fucks around." He grouses, smile hidden by the brim of his hat.

"Lucky for you, sir-" Angus squeaks, gap-toothed smile and all. "You get a cool life instead."


End file.
